NOT FOUND: positivity.jpgHow many of you were part of the “Clean Your Plate” club while growing up? My parents were not the only ones who made me a charter member, either. Most of my neighbors were part of the same club. I am certain that many of the other popular “mom-isms” are running through your head right now. In fact, some of you may have heard yourself repeating those very phrases to your own children.
The only “club” I regret ever joining was the “Glass Half Empty Club”. You see, my family had a tendency to see things from a rather negative perspective. We can try to blame it on the Italian, Catholic upbringing, but I don’t think it was exclusive to my heritage and faith. We just simply found the negative side of life and perfected complaining about it to its highest art form.
It took me years to really see how negative I had become. Of course I knew my mom was negative and it really got on my nerves. I also noticed that my brothers married negative women. Every time the family got together, conversations would end up with complaints about something, no matter where it began. But – that was them – so I thought. My self awareness came when someone commented on the fact that I couldn’t watch a TV show without finding something wrong with just about the entire cast. I began to study myself and was shocked to hear how much of the complaining, negative commentary came out of my mouth. There is nothing positive about negativity. The more I complained about something or someone, the more I dwelt on it. The cycle becomes self-perpetuating and people don’t like to be around negative people. Not only is it a people deterrent, but negativity is expensive. It affects individuals, families and even organizations.
Here are some of the costs of negativity:
90% of doctor visits are stress related, and complaining produces negative stress.
Negative emotions are associated with:
More pain
Less energy
Increased risk of heart attack
Increased risk of stroke
Decreased life span and longevity
Fewer friends
Less success
Negativity affects the morale, performance and productivity of teams.
One negative person can create a miserable office environment for everyone else.
I am now on an anti-complain campaign. I am trading my complaints in for solutions. Consider this my personal invitation to anyone else who would like to stamp out negativity. While on this quest for a more positive outlook on life, I read a great book by Jon Gordon, called The No Complaining Rule. Great insight and easy reading. I highly recommend it for companies wishing to improve their productivity.
In the mean time, I am the new president of the “Glass Half Full” club and am accepting applications for membership. The initiation ritual is to spend the next 24 hours without complaining. If you hear yourself begin to complain, add the “but” factor. Add a “but” to the complaint and speak something positive about the thing you just tore apart. Try it. It will help you think twice about saying something negative. Really listen to yourself honestly and determine your level of positivity. I guarantee you that if you begin seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty and if you add a solution to the problem you want to complain about, you will see some extremely good results. “Accentuate…. the positive. Eliminate… the negative…. (Bing Crosby)