NOT FOUND: father or failure.jpgThere’s a song that says “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone”. Seems cliché and perhaps slightly overused when one is in their youth. However, as the years add numbers to the “sweet sixteen”, we seem to sing that ole song ever so softly in our hearts. As the hands of father time continues to tick with sure movement, one is often given the opportunity to reflect on those days, months and years gone by.

Raising children seems to make that passage of time even more obvious and progress or decline more defined. I was admiring the head full of hair bestowed upon my young son as he stood waving at a crowd of people hurrying by. It reminded me so vividly of my own wonderful father, who himself had a set of locks that set him above the crowd (even as he approached his golden years). In an instant, that memory brought to life conversations he and I would have as I was growing up. Dad always would try to teach me “life lessons” when given even the smallest open window of opportunity. “People are like crystals”, he once told me, “when shattered, it is very difficult to try and piece them together.” As an 8 year old, who didn’t own anything that fragile or delicate, I didn’t really grasp that pearl of wisdom. Today, in my line of work, I come across many, many people whose lives have been shattered and my part is to help them find the pieces. It’s amazing, how did he know?

Dad had an infectious laugh and found humor in seemingly ridiculous things. He taught me that hard work and diligence would help me through anything. He wasn’t perfect by any means; in fact, some have even looked at my father, knowing his many shortcomings and considered him a failure in regards to his family and his career. Many times, he would make promises and because of circumstances, whether in his control or not, he was unable to fulfill them. As a child, all I saw was the broken promise. As an adult, I’m aware of the pain he felt when he wasn’t able to deliver on those promises. He has since moved on out of this life and I know, looking back he would have probably done things a little differently.

I now realize, he never claimed to be the perfect father, nor did he think he was raising absolutely perfect children. He did give it a great effort in being the best he could be and taught his children to do the same. Today, my brothers, my sisters and I are all an active part of raising our own families and contributing some what positively to society. Surely not perfect, but definitely progressing.

Fathers all across America are being honored this month; some of them wonderful, caring and positively impacting the lives of their children. There are also those who aren’t as active or even allowed to be a part of their kids’ lives because of some wrong decisions they’ve made in their own lives. In either case, honor is due. We need to be grateful and realize we don’t ever get to where we are going on our own - someone helped to give us life.

If your dad is still around, know that he’s not perfect and may never be, but you can appreciate that he helped give you life! Write a card or call and let him know that you’re grateful for him – not just on “Father’s Day” but everyday!

Thanks for giving us life dad!