With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, love and romance are on the minds of many. With the excitement of “romance” and “love” this month it is a good time to take a look into our marriage and be sure that our romantic spark is remaining lit.

It takes effort to build and maintain a healthy, happy marriage. With the day-to-day pressures, work, children and your normal daily routines, keeping our marriage a top priority can be a challenge. We can begin to take our relationship for granted. When we married, our vow “for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer” was proclaimed, but as time goes on those words can become a distant memory. Despite what seems to be a decline in the overall marriage relationship, many couples today are searching for answers to help them return to the marital bliss they first experienced when the were married.

The following are some suggestions to keep (or bring back) the peace, joy, contentment that we all desire in our marriages. Though these suggestions may seem to be “common,” we too often forget that they truly are the foundations for a happy, healthy marriage.

COMMUNICATE

It is said that “communication,” “sex”, and “money” are the three things that couples argue about most in a marriage. Communication could possibly be the number one problem in most marriages. Too often we look and think of communication as sitting down and talking with one another, or better yet, being in the same room while one spouse talks and the other listens, or pretends as though they are listening. True communication is more then that, it includes an active part from both parties, both talking and listening. Another key element in communication is not judging what the other has to say. Letting your opinion known, through words or actions (sometimes actions speak louder then words), can bring communication to a halt! Make time to sit down and talk with your spouse. Schedule it in, because what we don’t plan for won’t happen.

MAKE TIME FOR ONE ANOTHER

We live in a day and age where we run from activity to activity, from job to job. If we do not make time for our spouse, the time together just won’t happen. Schedules are an excellent way to ensure that everything that is important gets accomplished. Schedule a date night. Whether it’s once a week, every other week, or once a month (everyone’s schedules are different), you make a statement that your marriage is important when you make it a priority in your life. In addition to your date nights, make sure that you and your spouse have opportunities to just sit and be together, playing a game, reading a book, sharing memories or rehearsing dreams about your future together. You will become closer and your marriage will grow stronger.

EXPRESS APPRECIATION

Our appreciation for our spouse can too often be taken for granted. We know that we love our spouse, but we don’t necessarily remember to tell them that we appreciate all they do. Try some of the following ways to express your admiration:

• Terms of appreciation–Sometimes just a simple “thanks” for all they do means a bunch.
• Cook a special meal – Everyone has their favorite.
• Give your spouse the night off – Once in awhile a night to relax is just what is needed.
• Write them a note – Include it with their lunch, tape it to the mirror; get creative.
• Leave a message on their voice mail – Just to say “I love you.”
• Arrange an evening alone – Grandma misses your kids too.
• Send (or bring) flowers – It’s not just women that enjoy them.

Think of some other ways to express your appreciation toward one another. It doesn’t take a lot of money, just a heart that cares.

FIGHT FAIR

Make the decision that no matter what you are going through, you and your spouse are in it together all the days of your lives. This does not always mean that you will agree. As men and women we are made different and we think different. Therefore, something that may seem right to one may not be to another. Learning to “fight fair” will eliminate hurt feelings and arguments that in the long run will not produce the most positive results. Make it a rule to always be respectful of one another, not ridiculing, criticizing and dismissing.

Implement these changes in your marriage today, and experience the joy of one another in a new and greater way. Marriage can either be the most exciting thing in your life, or the most painful; it’s all a choice. Make the choice today to make your marriage the BEST it can be!